With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You should frame my arrest warrant.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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