he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
