At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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