I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
