my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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