my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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