I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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