Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
