Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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