Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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