"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
