dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
