Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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