that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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