Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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