I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
