he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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