actually, I'm a sock model
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
