She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
