Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
