The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just want to make out with him forever
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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