it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
