At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Randomize
