i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
