found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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