I want to have your abortion
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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