I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
