P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
