dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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