oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
