i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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