I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
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I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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