I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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