I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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