She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
