We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
