Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My pussy is not your playground.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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