In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
It's rum buckets o'clock
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
