Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
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There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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