the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize