And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
