I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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