I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
