He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
