In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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