No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
