OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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