I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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