she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize