you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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