You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
