return my video game
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
