Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
