i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
