College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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