Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
