you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
