Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
